Sh*t Wetaskiwinites Say

10 Amazing Practical Jokes

The Horse Ride

The Horse Ride

© Annabel Sheila
Taking a romantic ride today,
We sat upon the wagon.
Suddenly the horse lifted his tail
And we heard a roaring dragon!

The deafening sound hurt my ears
And the smell burned the hairs in my nose.
My girlfriend sat and glared at me.
Somehow my fault I suppose.

It was my idea to take the ride,
But how was I to know?
It really wasn’t in my plans;
Didn’t know the horse would blow.

The noise and the smell were bad enough,
As the wind blew quickly by.
But I think the very worst of it,
Was the brown stuff in my eye.

My girlfriend’s face turned angry red.
So I figured I wouldn’t dare,
Advise her of the smelly pieces
Of horse stuff in her hair.

The horse finally stopped; my girl ran away,
Stubbornly lifting her chin.
I think that horse was enjoying himself,
Cause I’m sure I saw him grin.

A lesson learned for me today.
Although I must confess,
I laughed so hard I nearly cried
As I wiped away the mess.

Source: The Horse Ride, Humorous Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/the-horse-ride#ixzz1wOKSxceJ
http://www.FamilyFriendPoems.com

A Dieter’s Despair

A Dieter’s Despair

© Don Hewitt
Oh my soul, be thou quiet
This is not ‘another diet’
Just a program of exchange
Though some things do seem strange

Raw vegetables and ‘brock-o-lee’
Does not sound too good to me
Lots of tofu and bean sprouts
While my empty stomach shouts

The meaning here is quite plain;
This program is designed for pain
Someone with anorexia planned
A program that tastes like sand

My hands are sweating, my soul is dreading
I must keep this thing from spreading
My only hope, the paper shredder
It finally made this diet better

Source: A Dieter’s Despair, Funny Life Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/a-dieters-despair#ixzz1wOIbHzEb
http://www.FamilyFriendPoems.com

All-time BEST TV Bloopers and Outtakes!

 

I think this one is long enough to cover yesterday’s missed post. It has some really funny bits if you can hang in there it is worth it! Enjoy.

Texan in Australia

Texan in Australia

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”.

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, ” We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows”.

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, “And what are those”?

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas”?

Joke of the Day _ 27th May 2012 (late)

A man shows up late for work. His boss yells, “You should have been here at 8.30!”

The man replies, “Why? What happened at 8.30?”

Joke of the day _ 26th May 2012

“Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

Joke of the Day _ 25th May 2012

“You might be a Redneck if your screen door has no screen”

Ultimate Dog Tease

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