Hello Kitty can fly?
Picture of the Day _ 29th & 30th May 2012
May 30, 2012 at 9:45 pm (Picture of the Day)
Tags: comedy, entertainment, environment, funny, Hello Kitty, people, Picture, transportation, travel, vacation
Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars
May 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm (Song of the day)
Tags: cars, Chasing Cars, entertainment, music, Snow Patrol, song, transportation, video, youtube
Joke of the Day _ 23rd May 2012
May 23, 2012 at 9:52 pm (Joke of the Day)
Tags: bus load, cars, comedy, day, entertainment, food, funny, joke, jokes, little old lady, lol, people, tour bus driver, transportation, travel, vacation, words
“A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, ‘Why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?’
‘We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth’, she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them then?’
The old lady replied, ‘We just love the chocolate around them.'”
Catfish
May 21, 2012 at 4:54 pm (Poem of the Day)
Tags: animals, boat, cars, catfish, death, entertainment, fish, fishing, nature, old poem, outdoors, poems, river, transportation, travel, vacation
Catfish
The catfish have the night,
but I have patience
and a bucket of chicken guts.
I have canned corn and shad blood.
And I’ve nothing better to do
than listen to the water’s riffled dark
spill into the deep eddy
where a ’39 Ford coupe
rests in the muck-bottom.
The dare growing up:
to swim down with pliers
for the license plates,
corpse bones, a little chrome . . .
But even on the clearest days,
even when the river runs low and clean,
you can’t see it,
though you can often nearly see
the movement of hair.
I used to move through my days
as someone agreeable
to all the gears
clicking in the world.
I was a big clumsy Yes
tugged around by its collar.
Yes to the mill, yes to the rain,
yes to what passed
for fistfights and sex, yes
to all the pine boards of thought
waiting around for the hammer.
The catfish have the night
and ancient gear oil for blood,
they have a kind of greased demeanor
and wet electricity
that you can never boil out of them.
The catfish have the night,
but I have the kind of patience
born of indifference and hate.
Maybe the river and I share this.
Maybe the obvious moon
that bobs near the lip of the eddy
is really a pocket watch
having finally made its way downstream
from what must have been
a serious accident—
the station wagon and its family
busting the guardrail,
the steering wheel jumping
into the man’s chest,
his pocket watch hurtling
through the windshield
and into the river.
Wind the hands in one direction
and see into the exact moment of your death.
Wind them the other way
and see all the tiny ways
you’ve already died—
I’m going to put this in my breast pocket
just as it is. Metal heart
that will catch the stray bullet
in its teeth.
I chum the water, I thread the barb.
I feel something move in the dark.
MICHAEL MCGRIFF
Home Burial
Copper Canyon Press
Joke of the day -19th May 2012
May 20, 2012 at 12:56 am (Joke of the Day)
Tags: cars, clutch purse, comedy, entertainment, transportation, travel, vacation, woman steps
“An older woman gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer : Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer : Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer : Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer : I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer : Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer : Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer : You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer2 : Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.”
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